• Nolan Lane

Wasting My Time With 'Morbius'

Writing a genuine review about this movie feels wrong, as if recognizing its existence gives it legitimacy. For the record, I wholeheartedly believe the world would be better off without this film. The goal of this review is not to give Jared Leto or the Sony executives the attention that they frankly do not deserve, but rather to scrub this cinematic filth clean from the minds of the public consciousness. After I write this review, I hope to move on with my life and never think about Morbius again.

Firstly, the performances are atrocious. The titular Morbius is played by Jared Leto, an actor who has spent the last decade of his career being the worst aspect of any film he appears in. While I must admit that Leto’s portrayal of Morbius is not nearly as insufferable as his previous venture into superhero cinema, with his depiction of the Joker in 2016’s Suicide Squad, Leto’s performance in Morbius is still an excruciating mess. His delivery of typical Marvel one-liners almost always falls flat, as Leto is completely devoid of any of the charisma a good leading man should exhibit. Matt Smith’s performance is equally uninteresting. It is blatantly obvious that the actor was given little to no direction as to how to play his character. From scene to scene, Smith switches from being snarky and charming to sinister and conniving. Overall, his performance comes across as aimless, which is also a good way to describe this entire film.

From a visual standpoint, Morbius embraces all the worst aspects of superhero cinema from the past decade. Sony clearly did not care to pay their VFX team well enough, as the abhorrent CGI leaves the action feeling weightless and dizzying. The fight scenes feel as though they take place in an empty void, with no effort to establish a sense of spatial awareness with any of the setpieces. Throughout the entire film, Morbius is surrounded by an unpleasant smoke effect, in a desperate attempt by the studio to give the character a distinct look, reminiscent of Ryan Reynolds in 2011’s Green Lantern. In terms of editing, scenes are either cut short or missing entirely, causing the film to feel incomplete, despite the remaining footage already feeling substanceless. As a consequence, the largely simplistic story feels hard to follow at times.

In summary, Morbius is a mindless slog that manages to feel both rushed and drawn-out simultaneously. The acting, writing, editing, cinematography, VFX, and pacing are all fundamentally lacking. One can only hope that this pathetic attempt by Sony at starting a new and memorable IP will fail miserably at the box office. Finally, I hope that Jared Leto finds another hobby other than ruining the lives of his fellow cast and crew on set, who do not deserve the hell that he puts them through.